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Just heard this being said as a psalm response on a mass one day – and just calmed myself down.

You don’t need to perform miracles, you don’t need to save the world – just live a blameless life and you’re laughing. Make sure all your relationships are open, and when you make a mistake, just go to the person and talk to them. Every conflict can be talked through and discussed.

We are all humans, all make mistakes, all have our egos, we all have our own desires – yet when your conscience is clear, and inside of you, there’s no intention of harming anybody, then your relationships should be all open and transparent, without fear.

Instead of fear, there is love. And once you have love inside of you, you will be able to overcome any misunderstandings and obstacles.

Was thinking how important it is to invest in relationships. Yesterday we did something that we don’t normally do – we went to visit one of our friends. Just called her in the afternoon that we would come, bought some wine and got there in the evening.

What a great evening it was!

We were chatting till it was too late and then we really had to go home. Al the time I could feel how close we were. How many similar interests and topics there were!

When we were leaving, the hugs were so strong…

Even though we like being on our own at home in the evenings, and browse the Internet or do some of our hobbies together, this was something much more valuable.

Maybe it’s about sharing our free time. But it definitely counts and it is important to be close to other people – that’s one of the greatest values you can get in life.

“A person of character does not go about interfering in people’s business and knows his or her limitations.”

Should I ask people about their business, about their problems and issues, and try to help them, or is it ok to mind my own business and leave them be?

Somebody has told me recently that these days we are very independent. I really don’t need anybody’s help. I don’t need anybody to talk to, I am able to look after myself. I have job, I have money, I can speak and use email. So why would I need to build relationships?

Maybe it’s about sharing. It might be about loving. It also could be about living a full life, being dependent on other people, and be driven by their love.

“Can you hope in the Sacred Heart of Jesus, despite what little you may feel you have to offer?”

What is the greatest thing I can give my friend? Understanding, acceptance, love – simply, relationship of love. And what do I need for this?

Just love.

So now when I know that there is nothing else I need, what am I waiting for? Why don’t I get up and talk to people, visit them, help them, spend time with them - love them?

And relationships are risky, and sometimes you end up disappointed and sad (maybe like Jesus when everybody deserted Him at the crucification) – but hey, who are you doing this for? Is it for yourself, so that you feel well when people thank you for your help – or is it the people – tired, sad, unhappy, puzzled…?

Don’t be afraid, just love.

“If you are faced with ungrateful people who have betrayed you and falsely accused you, what hurts you most is irrational malice which pours forth from those who you least expected to act thus. Your reaction in such circumstances should be: to forgive right from the heart, to beg forgiveness for one’s enemies, to pray with love for them to be converted, and then in this way you will not need to rely on the consolation of the world.”

Yes, today somebody told me: “I keep telling you to do this again and again, and you seem not to do anything about it.” And this hurted me, because that person had actually never mentioned that particular thing before, and also the fact that I had been doing my best for that person at that time.

Well, not that I would deserve something more, nor that I would be perfect, I was just thinking that maybe I could either improve on what I am doing, so that the person is really happy (this is what I want, anyway), or then there is an issue with our communication.

Maybe they just didn’t mean it in the way to upset me. Maybe they just wanted to make a joke. Maybe they wanted to point out something. Maybe I’m being wrong and maybe they really told me 2000 times and I didn’t catch up on that…

So what should I do? Talk to them and make sure we’re on track. Ask them not to talk to me in this way and explain that it hurts me?

And you know what? Maybe it’s not really important at all.

I was in the park in the evening and, being there on my own, a completely quiet place, I just looked up in the sky and saw how small I was. How unimportant, how subtle. And that my relationship with this person must not be in the way of the unity of the rest of the world, it cannot be different from the relationship between individual elements of the nature…

And I realised how much I love that person and how much more I could do for them if I maybe removed my ego from our discussions. If I was able to always be aware of how small I am. To realise how life is beautiful.

Imagine, just yourself on your own, in the dark park, looking into the sky, and feeling God’s love.

“If everybody should approve of you, but God disapproves of your conduct, how terrible for you! If everybody should insult you, falsely accuse you or persecute you, but God praise you, happy are you, for the Kingdom of Heaven is yours (Lk 6:22).”

Sometimes I go to a confession and the priest will tell me that it’s “not too bad” what I’ve done. But come on, I am looking to be one with God, so how can I commit even the smallest sin? It’s really about the true and honest relationship between me and God.

Sometimes I don’t know what I should be doing and whether what I do is ok… E. g. now, during the lent, I’ve stopped any form of limiting of what I eat – as I noticed that it then makes me too greedy and I cannot control myself at all – which makes me end up doing what is wrong, as opposed to doing something more, something voluntary.

So now I am focusing solely on getting closer to God, realising who I am talking to when praying, and feeling His Greatness. I would love to get to the stage when my only motivation, my ultimate goal will be God, and God alone.

Then there will be no “NO to God” out of laziness, no “YES to sin” out of greed, no “NO to friends” out of my selfishness… I would love to start serving people, to help those who really are in need, I would love to touch those who are suffering – and to suffer with them.

Yet, as in karate, when I’m just a beginner – I need to learn the basics. I need to spend hours doing just the most basic punch to get it right. I need to spend days learning how to pray, how to call God, how to thank Him, how to look at Him. I need to be quiet and listen to Him, I need to listen to my friends, and not give them any advice or help at all – since I have no resources at the moment… Where else should my wisdom come from, if not from God Himself? And until I get closer to Him, until I get this wisdom through the prayer, there is always just insanity in my words, in things I do or think.

“A precious sparking diamond is formed in a mass of rock in the depths of the earth over millions of years. Do you emerge from the interior in the same way?”

Recent weeks I felt God was leading me through the nature. Praying at the nearby river, cycling along the sea, watching stars at night and counting lights of the sleeping city.

It was all beautiful and so easy to focus on God, when I could see His works.

Yesterday I felt something else – as if I was to reveal Him in my relationships – something like the Level 2 in my spiritual life. Uncover God in other people.

When I was meditating in nature, it was really about finding time to go out and stay there for a while. If I am to meditate people, I need to stop all my “hugely important” work, and focus on them. Focus on those who live with me, those who I pass by, those who will give me a call…

But there’s a very important note to be made here: it’s not about me helping them. Why should I think that I am to help people – to save them, to put an end to their problems? How could I dare?!

In most cases, I am poorer than other people, so why would I believe that I could help them? I shouldn’t approach people with that attitude: “Hi Sarah, I will now listen to you because I am going to help you. You know, I am so great that you can tell me about your problems and I will solve them.”

Of course, I would love to help people – but is it in my capacity? Shouldn’t I rather just listen to them fully, understand them and just be with them? Shouldn’t I be their friend as opposed to their “saviour”?

Yes, I will help people, I will give them advice if I have some to give – but will not consider myself wiser, or smarter, or in any way above them. They are the source of my meditation, they are God’s message for me now.

“Although you are eager to serve God well, nevertheless, if this enthusiasm is not accompanied by a deep personal renewal, you will not be pleasing to God.”

Today I was to meet with one person who is quite important to me and I have great respect for him. But as I was preparing for the meeting, I realised that I was focusing a lot on what I look like in his eyes, and how he will like ME.

I was trying to make myself look as great as possible, so that he would admire me.

But no, this is not the way forward. Stop. I should be humble and quiet. I should focus on how I could help him, what I could do for him, and on what is great about HIM.

Yes, I must renew myself and review my relationships with others. Is it me who I am looking for to see when browsing through photos from the recent party? Is it me that I speak so much? Is it me whose problems are being discussed?

I would like to quieten down and focus on others and on God. On what is outside me, because, although I am rich with what God inserted into myself, still there is much more outside. I would like to be open and to love others, to be curious about them and serve them whenever I can.

My husband came home yesterday, very late as he was working overtime, and instead of relaxing and having dinner, he went to his sister’s room and helped her with her studies. I would like to be interested in others like this and give them myself – and not even realising how much I am giving or that I am giving at all.

“Your decision to follow Our Lord is not just the “signing of your name”, nor the pronouncing of vows, but it is the continuous day by day sacrifice involved in carrying out this decision during the whole of your life.”

Recently I came across this outline of what we should be doing to lead a “perfect” life:

1. Sleep
2. Exercise
3. Prayer
4. Relationships
5. Work

And I was told that the importance of these things are as they are ordered here. Notice, that prayer comes after sleep and exercise – I found this very interesting.

Loving means to ‘do everything in my power to help others towards real happiness‘. Wow. Since I read this in the Road of Hope (by Nguyen Van Thuan), I cannot stop thinking about it.

So I shouldn’t love people because I want to be happy myself (which I eventually will be, anyway), but the main motivation should be to make them happy. To make them really HAPPY.

I want completely to forget about myself and start loving people. And I don’t need to join a charity, or to go into streets and feed homeless people; I just start here where I am, in the office with my colleagues, in my house with my housemates, with my husband. Make them all happy.

Yet I know that it’s not in my power to “save” them or to make them fulfilled – whatever. I am nobody, I am very weak and I want to realise this as well. So while I am trying to help them towards their happiness, I cannot guarantee that they will become happy after they meet me. And I have no recipe for making others happy – I am not their savior, there is somebody Else, much greater than myself, who can save them and who can make them really hbappy.

So with this in mind, now I can approach people only in a very attentive way, listening to them, asking them questions, and trying to understand them. Trying to find out what matters to them, what issues they are facing, what they want – and, what will make them happy.

And happy – hey, this doesn’t mean that I will spoil them, or give them things they long for without distinguishing what could help them and what could not. Sometimes I will have to be “cruel” with them, refusing to follow their wishes, if they would not make them happy.

Then there’s the question – what does it mean to be really happy? And there I am lost again, not knowing the answer… It definitely is individual – each person is happy slightly differently. I am happy when I can see that I am growing towards being a better person. But is this right? What about relationships with others?

How about you, what does it mean to you to be happy? So what can I do to make you really happy? What can I do to make people I meet every day really happy? What is my little role in their happiness?

I need to forget about myself and start loving people – trying to understand them and help them be really happy.

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