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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

“Live at God’s side and you will become a saint, since heaven is nothing other than the presence of God.”

Today I was praying for sanctity. Then failed greatly again – with food and work. Am I not able to do it?

However, I was thinking, being in the church, that there is gold and wood. I don’t want to be like a golden calich, I would prefer to be a wooden… cross.

Lord, please, give me the strength and the patience. Let me get to that goal one day.

“Put your hand over your heart often and tell yourself: “God is living with me and in me.” Little by little, God will give you a taste of that happiness which his presence brings.”

Yesterday was that “D” day. I rang my chosen charity and asked about volunteering. I really wanted to work with them. ASAP.

But they told me that the next info evening would be in September, with training starting no sooner than in October. Terrible. I really want to start doing something now.

It’s interesting, because it seems to me like if God didn’t want me to do any active work now. Should I pray? Am I not ready? Should I just attend a mass every day? I would prefer to do something, not only sit in the chuch all the time. (And, actually, I have stopped attending daily masses.)

So Lord, what do You want me to do? What is your plan with me? Am I not worthy to help or to serve Your purpose?

“Do not confuse cowardice with prudence. It is because so many people have this kind of “wisdom” that darkness prevails in so many situations.”

Today I’ve asked my karate sensei to allow me for the higher grading. And this is pushing it a bit, since people in karate don’t like rushing further, and they value those students who take their time to train.

I decided to give it a try, and now await the response. Risking things – he can say that I’m too pushy, and that I should shut up and work harder on my techniques, so that I would deserve the higher grading.

Knock, and they will open. So I will see, and this time, I am really curious about the response I will get. However, still remaining open to accepting whatever the final decision is.

Should I stretch myself, and work hard on many things, or should I limit my activities only on the prioritised projects? What is important for me to do today? Should work hard, like Martha, or should I just sit down and listen to the words of Jesus like Mary? Is it ok just to dwell in God’s presence, or should I push myself froward?

If God is not building the house, the effort of the builders is just pure vanity.

Lord, please, lead me along the right way for me.

“Our Lord wants you to give yourself to him totally, not half-heartedly.”

Lord, You are with me now. I can feel You here, just as when You revealed Yourself to Peter, James & John at the mountain. Thanks for this revelation in my heart. You are full of that inner glow; please, let me shine for people so that they all might get to know You – each in their own way, just like each sees the red colour differently.

“Everyone venerates those who are gifted with the stigmata, that is, an impression of the five wounds of Our Lord on their bodies. But all who fear God impress the five wounds of Our Lord on their own bodies by means of sacrifice.”

Lord, I am weak. I am not able to do any sacrifice. I am not able to give up food, comfort, pleasures.. I am not able to stay quiet when somebody brings up a topic I did well at, I am to weak not to use every opportunity to praise myself and show off…

Jesus, You lead a hidden life in Nazareth for 30 years. You didn’t use Your transcendent power when You were hungry in the desert, nor when You were hanging on the cross. You went to a quiet place every day – and You escaped when people wanted to make You their king.

Please, let me carry your wounds. Let me participate on Your life. Let me do what You did, live exactly as You did. Please, let me suffer with You, let me share Your love with others.

Lord, let me sacrifice myself, teach me how to get rid of all my addictions, my selfishness, my ego. Please, let me be in Your presence, let me love You fully.

Let me Be.

“In a special way, those consecrated souls should declare on their identity cards: “Occupation: Prayer”. The other occupations in the world are being fully attended to. The world demands that you assume the role of representative and begs you: “Pray for me!””

Lord, please, let me pray more. Make me pray more. I can pray myself, but only You can give power and meaning to my prayer. I don’t have a clue how to pray, what to say, how to structure my prayer.

I don’t even know how to stay silent in Your Presence.

Please, always when I am on my own, or in the church, come to me and make me pray. Teach me how to pray with my husband, and how to pray for people I know – my friends, my colleagues, my boss, my family, people who I don’t like that much – or those who are my competitors.

“The time when you pray is a period of intimacy with God who is your father. It is not like writing an essay; it is a time for the heart, not for the head. Do not wrack your brains or scratch your head as to how you should appear before God.”

Aha, that’s why I have been finding it quite difficult do spend my time in prayer – as I didn’t know what to do, what to say, how to spend the time… And maybe I was just involving my mind too much – maybe all I should be doing is just sit down and feel God’s presence - simply, just be aware of it.

In the spirit of the Ignatian prayer – I would also like to ponder about the Scriptures and be in one of the stories with Jesus. Lord, please, help me to pray every single day now, and even every single while – when I work, when I travel, when I talk to people, when I am…

“Do you think that children are not yet able to do anything for the Church or that the sick can no longer do anything for the Church? No, not at all. After the official prayer of the Church, the prayers of children and of the sick are most pleasing to God. They should often be reminded of this.”

Yesterday I went to a confession and the priest didn’t have a lot of time, because it was just 4 mins before the mass he was serving… So I didn’t get a chance to even say all my sins on the list… And he gave me that forgiveness and that was it.

Afterwards, I was thinking, that maybe it really doesn’t matter what way I approach God. I think it doesn’t matter if I make the cross at the beginning of my prayer in the right way. Maybe it doesn’t matter whether I kneel on my knees or whether I am on my bike – just be myself and talk to God as I am.

Lord, I love Your openness for us – poor people looking for You, and being unsatisfied until we dwell in Your presence. Please, let me live my life in front of You – in Love, all the time.

“As a sinner you dare not stand in the presence of God, but the words of the Church bid you to be reassured: “Through Christ Our Lord.” How could you think that all the sufferings of Jesus and all the good works of his Blessed Mother and the saints would not be sufficient to encompass your little prayers?”

Lord, here I am again in front of You, not having done what I had promised to You, and what I had resolved to do… Now it’s up to You what You are going to do with me – please, forgive me all the sins and let me start anew.

Thanks.