GrowHoly.com

When you are in a relationship, you have a great opportunity to let the other person teach you how to love. You will watch them, talk to them, spend time with them, eat, sleep, have fun together and share everything on your journey of life.

And they will teach you how to love them. Because they love you. And soon you will realise how far you still need to go, just by seeing them love you.

On the other hand, you are also an opportunity for the other person to learn how to love. Everything you do, your own way of showing love, all that will be mirrored by them, and they will try to express their love always a bit better.

You are both growing – make sure that every day on this journey counts, that every moment you spend together brings you closer to the real Love.

Is there a proper expression for the greatness of God? He Himself expressed it  in the vast Universe, nature, creating humans and managing it all, using the wonderful laws of nature and putting it all together in that nice chaos where there are no two things the same, yet all works perfectly with harmony…

I am just a tiny part of this world, with a few billions of cells, and a few limbs and senses, and a mind to discover and ponder over things. I can see, I can breath, I can jump and I can sing. I can express my own spirit by creating new things – similar to what God does. I can live in harmony with the rest of the world and simply be the expression of God myself. Just like a child, when they look around with their big innocent eyes – yes, I am here for God to love me. I am here to be happy and to dance in love.

Once we were working for about 5 weeks in a foreign country, picking sour cherries. It was a bit of hard work – getting up at 4am, then spending 8 or so hours in the heat of the sun, coming back to the hostel, tired and dirty, and it was all overcrowded with people like us… Simply the stuff that only students hungry for money are happy to withstand.

Yet, sometimes it got quite tough in terms of getting too low pay and we didn’t want to get abused. So some of us decided to stand up and fight for our rights. A few people simply refused to work for a few days – they were just sitting under the trees and relaxing in the sun.

The managers took action – they pushed us all to work, probably made some small changes to the working terms so that we were happy. However, in the end, after the 5 week term was over and we were to go home, those strikers got paid less when collecting their wages.

And they all left angry. It just didn’t feel right.

Was thinking what was the meaning of such punishment. Did the masters want to save a few bob on these people? Then, and only then, this type of “after-all-is-over” punishment would make sense to me. Otherwise, it’s just a waste of negativity.

I think that all punishment should be driven by a burning desire to help the person punished to actually learn something. That’s what parents do to their kids when they want them to grow in life.

So how is it with God, who is called our Father? He definitely leads us through life towards perfection. I can see how all difficulties of our daily lives, all tragedies and hardships are meant to push us forward – if we cooperate and accept it.

But how is it then with the ultimate punishment? Can Love stick anybody into hell = state of neverending unhappiness? What is the purpose behind that, since then we will not learn any more, or will we?

What is the meaning of death sentence?

“Avoid false humility. It is necessary to be ambitious in the search of knowledge, in the desire to act and to take risks, but all of this for God and for the Church.”

Today, I was looking at various volunteer opportunities in the area where I live. And was wondering what would be the best option for me to help somebody – where could I actually both grow and at the same time, use my skills and resources in a way which will be of most effect to somebody who really needs it.

So I came to these criteria:

• Time & place of the work needs to be close to where I live
• My skills & strenghts must be used in a way I enjoy
• The work will really be needed and it will be a great help to somebody – which will enable them to grow in a certain way
• The beneficiaries will want and welcome my work
• They will not be able to reward me elsewise than by saying “Thank you”

Now let’s talk about humility. Am I somebody who can get up now and help elderly people to live a better life? Am I patient enough to do it? Or should I look at working with kids instead?

I am also looking for some ongoing work, where I will be able to see the results of what I’m doing – eg seeing a person growing.

Lord, You gave me so much, and I don’ t know what I am still waiting for to be able to get up and start sharing this with people who maybe just need a bit of Your smile to start seeing life in a different way. Please, help me to find my place there.

“The older the saints became, the younger their hearts became.”

Today I celebrated my birthday. Generally I don’t like these celebrations – as I haven’t done anything special to deserve to be rewarded… But it’s nice when your friends think about you.

My husband told somebody of our community about my birthday, and today they all congratulated me. It started at the mass, when the priest himself gave me a huge bunch of flowers toward the end of the service.

I was shocked, and surprised, and happy. They were so nice. I heard so many positive comments, great wishings etc. They made me feel special. I play in the choir every week, so they value me.

But who am I, guys? I am nobody, I am nothing. I am getting older, but I don’ t really want this recognition, because anyone from this community is much greater and better than myself. If only you knew who I really am, if only you saw my sins and failures… If only you knew how little I am sometimes interested in you guys, and how often I would prefer to be somewhere else than on these masses. I am not so open as I seem to be; and I am not putting you on the front place in my priorities.

How can I start loving you as I could? How can I start spending more time with you, sharing with you, helping you? How can I get closer to you, because then we will be able to enrich each other. How to break the barrier that separates us? One day we’ll all go various directions – that’s why I haven’t been putting too much effort into these relationships.

I want to start now. From now on, I want to listen to you, remember your problems, and be interested in what you do, and what is happening in your lives.

Anyway, thank you very much for all your support. Without you I would be much less, and you help me grow.

“Sacrifice that which separates you from Our Lord. Recall his words: “If your foot is an occasion of falling to you, cut it off,” and “if your eye is an occasion of falling, pluck it out” (Mk 9:44,46).”

Ok, I love chocolate. And whenever I get it, I would eat tons of it. But then, I know I will feel too full and fed up, and would not be able to be really interested in other people, work, prayer, sport… I know that this my “addiction” takes me away from God.

It separates me from Him – and from who I would like to become. I can’t say that it would separate me from who I am, as this is a part of me – it is me. God knows me and He knows that if I could, I would devour all the chocolate in the world.

And still, He loves me. Even when I am selfish in my wants, even when I cannot share, cannot give, cannot love, because my love is overshadowed by the desire and sometimes all my thoughts are preoccupied with chocolate.

So is this ok? Should I just accept it as it is?

God loves me, but I know that when I overcome myself, I will be able to feel His love. When I kill my addiction, I will feel God’s love instead, and I will be able to mirror it to the world - is it worth it?

Definitely yes, although I am a nightmare and might take the chocolate bar again and again – but eventually I will cut it off – and rather never taste chocolate again, but be with Him – that’s much more important. Yet it all depends just on myself.

It’s my decision. And God loves me.

“If you do not practice external sacrifice, nobody will believe that you practice interior sacrifice. Mortification of the senses is most important. David fell because he did not keep guard over his eyes.”

How important is my sacrifice? Should I push myself into being hungry, or should I beat myself with a whip? Is this the way?

How about being silent when I could promote myself, smiling when all the worst is happening to me, loving when somebody patronises me, forgiving when somebody is being rude..?

But when I, on top of this, control my body, it’s even better – but hey, this is not about killing myself, and damaging my health – it all must come out of pure love of God and people around me – say, if I give the last piece of chocolate bar to my friend, although I haven’t had anything, and if I do it with a smile, that could be ok.

Lord, I want to grow. Every day a little. With You. Please, come and help me overcome myself, overcome my own desires that sometimes, funnily enough, limit me, and let me get closer to You.

“A person who truly loves, sacrifices himself all the time but never speaks about it.”

Gee, yesterday I probably found the answer to my question – why should I ever to anything in spiritual life? Why should I serve God, why should I help others?

Well, He loves me. He gave me so much, He gave me life – and I didn’t ask for it at all! He plans for me, He cares about me. He sacrifices for me.

And my answer to His love? A life full of rubbish.

I want to start anew, I want to do something, I want to at least say thank you. He “chose us in Christ before the creation of the world to be holy and without sin in his presence.” (Eph 1,4)

Lord, please, teach me how I can be like this, give me Your strength and help me grow.

“You think that you do not have anything to sacrifice to God, but He sees you reject so many opportunities. For example, be happy and jovial with someone who ridicules you and tries to make you angry; be silent in the face of false and unjust accusations; show love to a friend who betrays you; do not utter an angry word in retaliation. Every single moment has its opportunity for sacrifice.”

When I ask my boss anything, he always repeats it to me as a question. Whenever he wants to tell me anything, he will ask me a question and make me think about it which always takes at least three times longer than if he would tell me straight away.

I hated these conversations. I wanted a straigh reply – quickly – and yet he started to play with words and ask me questions like a 4-yeard-old.

BUT – I learned through them. And especially yesterday when I went to a sales coaching seminar, I realised that my boss is actually doing really what he should - and it is the best way to get your employees motivated and grow.

It takes much longer, it’s a lot of pain and hassle, as you need to be very patient (especially with myself as it takes me ages to understand a particular thing) – but it will bring fruit down the line.

So now I am going to learn how I can do this with people I work with – ask rather than tell, listen, rather than speak. Give people a chance to decide what they want to do and why they want to do it. Yes, it takes time and sacrifice, but it’s worth it.

“Don’t mix God Himself up with His works! Because His works are not God Himself. When God calls you, you must put down His works, and follow Him, only Him.”

I tremble with awe when I get up in the morning and go out to watch the dawn. I feel myself shaking with respect when I go to a park in the evening, and feel God’s presence.

And yet no dawn, nor the beauty of a sunset will equal to the amazingness of He who created them. Somebody who overwhelms everything, who is in every my cell, Somebody who is Alive. Great Energy, Power, Movement, like a Song or Music – like a Smile. And still, He is Somebody. He is a Person, a Being.

“I am who I am.”

He is THE Being. Without Him, there is nothing, and everything Lives in Him.

And He called me. He looked at me, saw my pity and my poor efforts, also my weakness and my nothingness, my “poorness”, if that’s a correct word, and He smiled. He called me: “Come, you are welcome.” And I followed.

Limping on my way, with lots of sins on my hands, in my head and on my lips, but I followed. Nobody, nothing, following THE Being.

“But I don’t even know Your Name…”

“Nevermind, all is in my hands, you will learn, and you will grow.”

So this is my only chance - to let Him tell me His Name, to allow Him take over my life and make me into a Human Being.