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With lent having started, many of my friends decided to give up something – usually sweets or TV, or anything else. Was wondering whether I should do the same.

Would it not just be my way of making myself “clear” or “ok”, or simply “religious enough” – if I would impose such fasting on myself? Since at the moment I tend to enjoy things and I am indulging quite a lot – should I limit this in any way, just to show how good I am?

I don’t feel that I should force anything on myself now. Like Jesus said – while the bridegroom is still with them, they won’t fast, but when he leaves, then they will fast. I still feel that the time hasn’t come yet.

However, if God wants me to do some sacrifice, I would be happy to do it – but maybe would need to see more reason behind – like helping somebody, or at least something that I would know would strengthen me, or move me forward.

If I give up some sweets now, I believe, it will just make me nervous and want even more after the lent is over.

Is this the type of fast God is looking for?

The following ideas come from Nguyen Van Thuan’s excellent book “The Road of Hope – A Gospel from Prison” and I recommend it strongly to anyone looking to grow in holiness.

425. ‘Blessed are the pure in hearth for they shall see God.‘ (Matthew 5:8). Priests and religious are not the only people called to observe chastity. Rather, everyone must do so according to his or her state of life. The life of chastity is not a life of restriction, but a life of greater freedom.

426. There are many people who, while appearing to be angels of charity, are in fact devils of covetousness. Unhappy the community that meets with such an angel!

427. God grants the gift of chastity only to humble souls. Pray for it every day then with a simple and sincere heart, one that acknowledges its own weaknesses.

428. The proud will fall sooner or later: because they rely on their own strength rather than on God, he will allow them to stand alone on this shallow foundation.

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“Sacrifice and contemplative prayer go hand in hand. If you do not practice sacrifice, do not complain if your contemplative prayer has grown cold.”

Just a small fast. Just some small sacrifice. Just do what you are told to do. Just love when somebody hurts you. Just be positive when somebody is not perfect. Just smile when you have to get up too early for work. Just close your eyes calmly when anything hurts.

Then just tell your God: “Thanks, because it’s You who are looking after me, it’s You who makes me happy.”

And you will never feel empty inside, because He will fill you up all the time.

“The spirit of prayer is like a furnace burning in your apostolic soul. If you wish to feed that fire you must stir up those big logs of sacrifice and recollection and the little ones of frequent aspirations and secret acts of self-denial.”

Secrect acts of self-denial. Lord, if only I could do something more than I am able to do at the moment.

I’ve read that You give the power to heal the sick by laying one’s hands upon them – You give it to those who believe. Am I asking too much if I would like to heal the sick one day? Yet I know this is not a little thing – and that it requires a big deal of real spiritual life – built mainly on prayer and fast – and yes, You now are enabling me to do more of it.

You can do anything to support those who are looking for You – but am I looking for You, or for myself? Do I really want to serve others and to proclaim Your message – or am I just looking for appraisal from people?

Lord, I am nothing here, sitting at the computer and maybe just having nice ideals and desires. Please, let these become reality one day, if You wish so. Let me use my life in favour of others, of those who would find it useful if I gave them some of my time and effort, backed by Your Results.

““Man shall not live by bread alone; but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God,” (Mt 4:4), that is, the Blessed Eucharist, the Sacred scriptures and liturgical prayer. Without these, you will have no spiritual life.”

Jesus, I am hungry. Hungry for Your Bread. I am hungry for Your Presence. For Your Balance, but I cannot find it yet. I am just wandering in the search for You, and I’m always loosing You – because of all that shadow inside me – all those things that take me away from You, yet they seem to be so attractive to me.

I want to have fun, run, jump high, I want to dance and sing, I want to eat and work, I want to exercise and sleep. I want to play and create, I want to take without giving… And somehow, I get lost in the midst of all these desires – and the ultimate desire stays hidden under a thick cover.

Please, help me dig it out, help me get the desire for You upfront, before all other things – so that I won’t do anything prior to satisfying the desire for You.

Jesus, whoever You are, as I’ve just read some stories about You in the Book – please, let me get to know You better, let me find You, let me be in Your Presence.

For without You, I am nothing, just a withering seed, but I know that once I grasp Your way of life, You will make me into a strong tree that will help many.

Please, let me grow, let me come closer and closer to the mystery of life You are. Please, let me drink from Your balance and prayer, teach me to pray and fast – and let me be with You always.

You are the ultimate goal of our days - so don’t let me go away from You.

“Why are there crises in the Church? It is because people do not take prayer seriously anymore.”

Yes, and maybe not only prayer, but also fast.

Yesterday it was the Good Friday – one of two days in the year when the Church requires fast – just once a day we are “allowed” to eat until we are satisfied – and no meat at all.

But that’s a way too little. In the time when we’re used to having a Big Mac every day, followed by a good bit of Snickers DUO and a pint of Coke. Times when if you say that you eat only veggies and fruits – they will look at you as at an alien. Times when people who fast on bread and water two times a week, are considered saints.

But hey, what did Luke write about the first Christians in the Acts? Fasting and prayer were on their normal schedule. It was an essential part of their lives.

And me? What about me? The same Christian, the only difference is in these 2000 years – but how does it really matter?

Look at what they were able to do – how many people found faith through them, how many sick they were able to heal, what miracles they performed – they even spoke in the tongues of the Holy Spirit – on a daily routine – and we?

What am I able to do now? If I bring one person to rethink their life – what a great achievement will that be?

Why are we so poor these days? Does it mean that Christianity doesn’t work any more?

Or maybe we just don’t pray and fast any more?

“Do not neglect oral prayers. When the apostles asked Our Lord, “Lord, teach us how to pray,” (Lk 11:1), and Jesus replies, “This, then is to be your prayer, Our Father who art in heaven,” (Mt 6:9). He was actually teaching them oral prayer.”

Yes, and another thing Jesus teaches us, is to pray and fast. Also Our Lady in Medjugorje asked us to pray and fast – two times a week, on Wednesdays and Fridays.

What is the best fast?

Bread and water. Or you can refrain from anything else you like, but bread and water is the best form of fast. You can still work during those days. But don’t forget to pray orally.

“People of the world are frightened of silence because they feel empty when alone. Those people who live an interior life value silence because they discover a new and beautiful world in a life of intimacy withe the Blessed Trinity, a life which this world cannot give.”

Today I was watching people going for holy communion. Some of them looked a bit incoherent. They were older and I could feel as if they kept hiding something, they weren’t really themselves – in their moves, in the expression of their faces…

If only we weren’t afraid of knowing the truth about ourselves. If only we weren’t afraid of others knowing the truth about ourselves. There is a lot of rubbish in my thinking, in my behaviour, in my doing things, in my laziness and greed, and selfishness. But what happens if people know about it? And I am sure they know. Why do I then keep trying to hide it somehow, to reject it? Why am I trying to hide my weaknesses even before God who knows every fibre in me?

When I confess all my failures and sins, when I take them as part of myself, then there is no space for hypocricy, no space for being incoherent. Then I will be able to sit in silence in front of God and say nothing, just feel His Presence.

As it is written, “He chose us in Christ before the creation of the world to be holy and without sin in his presence.” (Eph 1,4)

Today is the Ash Wednesday, now is the time to change. What is your resolution for the next 40 days? Or, what will you start doing today, and keep going all the time?

I have heard that if you choose to fast and pray, it should be done with a purpose. So what is so important to you that you would sacrifice a bit of food or drink in favour of it? Is it success at work? Your family? Your health and life? Is it your relationship with God and achieving the mission of your life?

For me, I would like to help people in a way that they can influence my fasting – not knowing about it. So if there is anybody who will tell me about their problems, I will listen to them, and the next day I will pray and fast for them.

Great Spirit, please, help us all during these 40 days. It’s a short while, but you know how uneasy it is for us to sacrifise our own comfort. You know how weak we are and lazy, and greedy. Only with your help can we do wonders. Only with your leading can we walk up the mountain of holiness.

“You do not have to be learned nor extraordinarily talented to become holy. All your require is the grace of God and your own determination. Few people become saints, because it is easier to become learned than it is to make the necessary changes in one’s life in order to achieve sanctity.”

What changes should I make in my life and should I keep changing all the time? Yesterday I was told a story of Jean Maria Vianney – how he used to fast on potatoes only, because it saved him lots of time for preparation of food and he could spend that time helping people.

I was talking to a friend who works in a nursing home. She said that it’s kind of a  job everyone should try doing for at least 2 weeks. Seeing those old and often suffering people, you must start thinking about death and the value of life. And you will help. You will help those elderly people because you know that if you don’t smile at them now, they might be dead tomorrow…

As Eph 1,4 says: “God chose us in Christ before the creation of the world to be holy and without sin in his presence.”

So let’s put this into practice. Let’s reorganize our lives so that we find time to pray, time to help, time to smile. Let’s change our values – it’s not about being successful at work, or at school, it’s about being Successful in God’s eyes, according to His will. It’s about being Holy in His presence.

“Our Lord commands you, “Go and preach the Gospel” (Mk 16:15). He does not issue the timetable or draw up a plan. He leaves you to take the initiative and overcome the difficulties, provided only that you carry the Gospel along with you.”

Is it really that He doesn’t draw up a plan? I thought that God has a plan and that He knows the right time for everything.

Recently I was reading a book where I was prompted to answer an interesting question:

If you could be, do and have anything in the world, what would you do?

And my response was:

I would organize special prayer meetings, that would help people find the inner quietness, for people who are not too religious – maybe teenagers, ‘normal’ people suffering in hospitals, business people who work a lot.

And if God leaves me to create my own plan for this, here is how I would like to go about it:

1. Stage 1 – Pray every day and fast twice a week.
2. Stage 2 – Learn to listen people, myself and God, learn how to be curious and to ask right questions. Here I would also like to get a spiritual director.
   
3. Stage 3 – Serve people – maybe in 3 years’ time, when I will have kids, will be closer to my family who will need help.
   
4. Stage 4 – Start leading people (in at least 10 years’ time) – maybe start with those prayer meetings in quietness
5. Stage 5 – Suffer, as I think this is very important and only through suffering one can really grow

I would be happy if all these stages were interconnected, so that when I move to stage 2, I will still continue with stage 1.

Lord, so here is my plan. This is my initiative and I would like you to help me link it with Gospel as much as possible. Help me overcome the difficulties and give me persistance and power to go ahead.

Many thanks.